Making my own closure

Today felt very different. If I had to blame it on anything, I blame this Mercury retrograde. For all you astrology buffs out there, Mercury is stationed in Capricorn. If you know your natal chart and all the planets and zodiacs that make you who you are...pay attention to your earth sign vibes. I have heavy Capricorn placements in my chart. "Earth energy" tends to be very practical, grounded, stubborn, methodical beings. So when I say, I have more than 1 of that placement throughout my make-up ( it means that I'm extra of how that placement acts ). The effects of this retrograde on a person will cause them to go into self-reflection mode. It will also cause you to reevaluate all of your present circumstances. I have been doing a lot of soul searching. I have been doing a heavy dive into all the repressed emotions from childhood traumas... all the moments that I said " this is too much, I can't deal with this right now" and stored those memories in a "never to look at again" file. Today felt like my internal switch just flipped. I've realized that I've been holding onto pain and past anger of all the situations I couldn't control from the past. Every year that passed, a specific date that represented a significant loss in my life, would send me spiraling. It's like I couldn't pull myself out of my own funk because I was so hurt. Today, I just took a stance to not feed into the "devil" inside me. This devil of loneliness, fear, hurt, anger. The truth that I tell myself is that shit happens. It happened. I'm sorry that I couldn't stand up for myself back then. I'm sorry that I didn't have my voice to speak up back then. The adult that I am today will NEVER tolerate that shit again. I know that my problems will always be a part of my make up. Now I know how to deal with those demons that have held me back. Now I know how to observe my emotions and sit with them instead of repressing them. More importantly, I know how to release these burdens.