You need to let go

Let go of that hurt. Let go of that unhappiness, that expectation that didn't go your way. The reality is that you're making yourself miserable dwelling on how things could've panned out. That person that treated you like shit... you don't really want them back. That's just you being triggered over old abandonment wounds that were never healed. That job that took advantage of you, underpaid you, looked you over for a position and gave it to someone else...that job was a stepping stone for something better. You're alive, you can still be of service elsewhere... be someone else's answered prayer. Stop staying in situations that make you unhappy. They get you nowhere. All you're proving to the universe is that you're stuck and don't know if you want to move forward or don't know how to make a step forward. It's not easy, I get it. I've been through many cycles that didn't end the way I would've hoped. Each time it happened, I judged myself harshly. I'd go disappear... bury myself in work to keep my mind off trying to feel the overwhelming sense of loss. At every stage of your life, the hurt just gets worse. Going through a break up in your teens feels totally different from a break up in your adult years. Sometimes it hurts so bad that you end up walling yourself off because you no longer trust anyone. You've now entered this state of isolation and you don't know whether you're coming or going. In the end, that road just leads to bitterness and resentment for feeling like you've wasted your time investing your energy, resources, finances into something, or someone, that wasn't even worth it. IF YOU THINK LIKE THIS... then you haven't learned anything. When you accept that there are things that are not always in your control... when you accept that everything always boils down to a choice, when you truly believe in your heart that you have never moved funny in any of your dealings, understand that you are being lined up for something better. Every ending is a chance for a new beginning. A chance to write to story that best suits you. Go out. You're spending too much time indoors. There are new jobs, new people to meet, new places to eat at. Give yourself the same grace that you gave people that you had to put up with. You are loved. You are deserving. You don't need to go back to what hurt you. You don't need to be that person that people thought they knew. Fuck those people. You don't need any closure from them, especially when they showed you who they were from the jump. Keep letting your light shine, because the demons hate that shit. Your time is short and precious. Make it count.